How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
