new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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