I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
