Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
