my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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