I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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