I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
