Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
why is half of my head shaved?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
