i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
