Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
