I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
