Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
