Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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