and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
