found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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