After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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