Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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