Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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