it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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