please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
