PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
