every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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