I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
