Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Randomize
