I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
