Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
