Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
