ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Be still, my beating vagina.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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