Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
