we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
