is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
