u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
