Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
