I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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