I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He keeps bees of course he's weird
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