I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
