quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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