So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
