just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
