You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You made out with two different species that night
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
