Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
