I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Best friends brother. Beat that.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
