but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
