the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Ladies don't puke and tell
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
