thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
you made out with another girl for some wings
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
