So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
