Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
