your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
