Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
