i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
