So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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