He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
50% drunk capacity currently
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
